Well I suppose it was time to finally work on something new, something grand. Unfortunately, I have been paying into rumours that nearby settlements have been spreading. To think I was once a household name that was even remotely respected. Alchemy demands have significantly dropped recently, and it’s been far too long since I have been back to my laboratory. But I believe in my magnum opus; the project that has been a culmination of my education, my aspiration, my life. Abstention from life’s essentials have allowed this project to be possible. Much of my existence has been lacking. Lacking in friends I can confide in, lacking in mentors I can prove myself to, lacking in children to pass on knowledge to, and perhaps most of all, lacking in a paramour.
This isn’t to say I’m deserving of these things. Many may agree with this sentiment. I am lucky to have made it as far as I have in this life. Most of my recent days are not filled with the necessities of my work. I require inspiration, drive, and the spark to create the best of my concoctions. Can’t recall the feeling of any... Can’t recall feeling much of anything, save for melancholy. The only thing that brings an inkling of hope is my newest project.
The last remaining pieces of this project were required from the local botanist. Wonderful woman and perhaps one of the unascertained reasons behind my newest elixir. Entering through the doorway into the warm interior of her shop brought me momentary peace.
“Wow! Long time, no see dear. We’ve missed you!”
She really stretches the truth for me. “Not sure who you mean by we, but I gotta say it’s really nice to see you, Oriana.”
“Well, a lot of us in town.” She offered a bashful smile. “So you look to have come in purposefully. Surely something more important than a hello?”
“Uh, yes actually! I’ve got something new in the works and really need a few things, plus an expert opinion on some ingredients. If you do — .”
Just then another resident barges his way in and fires a rabid look my way. Emile, some local glorified drunkard.
“Well, well, well look who is still alive.” he began to chide.
“Is there a reason I wouldn’t be alive?”
“Experiment gone wrong, pissed off the wrong guy, or maybe you finally just finished the job yourself?”
Oriana clearly became uncomfortable at the statement. “That’s enough Emile. What do you want?”
“Just came to say hi!”
“Leave, please. We will be awhile here.”
I couldn’t even shed a smirk at him. I just wish I weren’t here. Nevertheless, she got him to go with a snarky hesitance. I could feel his gaze as he exited.
“I-I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. He’s always a whoreson. Can’t imagine many others feel much different about me. Let’s just get started. I need Angel’s Trumpet, Henbane, Mandrake, and something that’s reactive. Something that’ll catalyze the organics.”
“You never cease to amaze me with your words, both botanical and vulgar. You’re sure about most of these? Some can be dangerous.”
I let out a light chuckle, “You know me, I’m around this stuff all the time. They’re far more than poison in my realm.”
“Sure, sure. Just making sure you’re staying on top of it. Now for something reactive I have not just a plant, but something I use for plants. I’ve only heard it called ‘potaschen’. It’s mineral salts, good for growing plants. Should do the trick.”
“I’m in. It’s nice to speak with someone that knows what they’re talking about. Thanks, Oriana. You’re the best, always my golden girl.”
“You know me. Again, if you need a helping hand then let me know.”
She cracked a smile as she began packing away everything I needed. We exchanged a lengthy goodbye after catching up. It was nice to get out. It felt heavy leaving the shop, dragging the smile away from my house as I trekked home.
Things were in motion in the lab back home. The hardest step was coming. All my ingredients were in use, and whatever catalyst these minerals I was given were doing the trick. The room began to steam up heavily with the fumes as the final mixture was heating. I had time to sit and think. I hope this was worth the time and energy. Beyond the legacy this kind of science can leave behind, was it ethical? To create elixirs capable of manipulating the mind to the point of altering emotions? I can’t say for sure. I just wanted someone to want me. Who can say that’s wrong?
The flask containing the mixture began to emanate a pulsating glow that began at the base and swelled out through the top. A bright, fuchsia-pink colour that grasped my eyes and my heart. I believe it is finally done. I took it off the heat and got ready to cork it. Finally Project Amare was coming to an end. The next step was simple. Share a glass with Oriana, who is more than willing to participate in my work.
The liquid beamed at me as I cleaned up around it. It looked silky and bright. It was very enticing. Perhaps it would be more prudent to make sure it is ready before knowingly serving it to someone other than myself. I grabbed myself a glass and poured myself a small serving. It smelled divine. Despite some hesitance in my mind, my body craved whatever secret this held. I drank it fast. It coated my mouth and throat with warmth, and wrapped the core of my body in an embrace. It whispered softly to me as I exhaled, the first time in a long time, relief.
I wasn’t sure what to expect at this point. But the feeling glided in on a cloud to greet me. My legs started to feel like gelatin, my stomach was filling with butterflies. I began to my bed to regain my composure but wasn’t sure if I would make it. It was… wonderful. The clouds that covered my mind began to open up to light. As I finally reached the bed and flopped down, time began to slow. I saw the fruits of my labour manifest inside of my head in lucid ecstacy. I was a skilled alchemist. I saw to the well-being of many others. I could bring positive change to the lives of those around me. I am a kind soul. I am a charitable citizen. I could see the future of my life’s work. I could see a future with progeny. I could see Oriana understanding me without alchemical assistance.
Project Amare had become so much more than I had planned.
I loved myself.
